Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013

baby dos is here

warning... longest post of life ahead! :) birth story!

it didn't take long for me to realize pregnancy dos wasn't going to be the same as the first, but that didn't mean it was going to be any easier for me! in fact, i found it to be MUCH harder than the first time around. grant it, i was never put on bed rest, but instead i was sick basically the entire time, and completely overwhelmed trying to be a mommy, wife, and work full-time. forget about blogging, taking belly pictures, and being social... all i wanted to do was eat & sleep!

thankfully though, my little man, reef clayton, is finally here. he was born march 7th, 2013 at 6:26 pm via csection. he weighed a whopping 8 pounds 12 ounces, and was 21 inches long. 


of course, nothing in my life happens as i try to plan it... and so of course reef couldn't hold off until i was officially 39 weeks, the next morning on march 8th, when he was supposed to arrive! a few weeks before my scheduled csection, i went to l&d when i thought i had "sprung a leak". at that time we found out i was 1 cm dilated, there was protein in my urine, and i was having contractions on the monitor, but most likely they were due to me being dehydrated. 

after being sent home, i decided i didn't want to go back to l&d unless i was super sure i was in labor. with ryan in the picture it was just too much trouble to go through for any "just in case" visits. that said, at every dr appointment, i told the dr i was still having contractions. (honestly i wasn't keeping track of exactly how often, so it was definitely my fault for not pushing the issue more.) she would do an internal check, and then basically tell me nothing was progressing.

of course this made me feel crazy! i have had my fair sure of medical issues, and always know when something isn't right. it's just a matter of whether or not i speak up about it. this time... in stead of speaking up, i got to the point i didn't even want to see the dr. i was getting depressed because my body was telling me something was happening, but it wasn't reflecting on my exams.

so i put up with the contractions, and with everything else going on, decided it would be better to just stop complaining about it. my last visit with the OB she said if i had more than 4 contractions an hour, i should go to l&d right away. it was a week before my scheduled surgery, and although the idea of going in early sounded great, i had really didn't even know anymore if what i was feeling was real. i kept telling myself that if they were real contractions i wouldn't be able to walk. <-- lol i am not sure where i got this logic, considering i also know i have a pretty good pain tolerance.

by the time my parents got into town on tuesday, i just told myself i had to make it until friday. at that point i knew at the very least i was having at least braxton hicks ALL the time. by wednesday night i was definitely having four an hour, but the pain was bearable. even when the family would ask if i was ok, i just brushed it off, but that night was no fun. i was up all night with pain... but again it was bearable.

once thursday rolled around, i finally agreed with my mom to time my "contractions" just to put everyone at ease. anytime i had a contraction, i made my mom hold my belly to confirm if it was happening because like i mentioned... i was just not sure anymore. after an hour of monitoring, we realized they were every 3-5 minutes... whoops guess we missed that every 15 minute mark! :)

the parents were ready to run off to the hospital, but i still wasn't sure if it was really happening or even worth going since i was technically going to be delivering in the morning anyway! i just didn't want to be sent home. sooo i delayed for a little while, and then eventually texted the mister to come home from work just in case. when he got home, i delayed just a little more. i wanted to be sure they were still happening!

eventually we got out the door ~ the parents stayed behind, and took ryan to daycare. funny enough i even tried to put that off. i didn't want my husband to call the nanny until we knew we were really delivering.

on the way to the hospital, we encountered california traffic of course, and at once point a dude cut us off. let me just start off by saying that i have a wonderful and amazing husband who would do ANYTHING to protect me!! so after the guy cut us off, and then tried to prove how cool he was by swerving INTO our lane almost pushing us into opposing traffic, my man got a little cray cray. :) and normally i try to calm him down, but this time i was also fighting preggo rage so when we pulled up next to him... my window rolled down, and i can't even remember all the words that came out of both our mouths. all i know is that he felt it... he slowed WAY down and go very very far behind us. i will forever love this memory for some reason.

anyway, once we got to the hospital, i was given the worst nurse of all time. without going into all the details, she basically told me MULTIPLE times that i was only having contractions because i was dehydrated again, and she even thought i had planned it all out to come in early. i wanted to scream at her because really if i was going to "plan" on going into labor early, i sure would have gone in sooner than the day before!

she also proceeded to tell me that my allergies to certain medicines weren't actually allergies, just reactions... it wasn't until my dr & the pharmacy confirmed i was in fact allergic to them that she put it in my chart. after dealing with her for an hour, i was in tears. i told the mister we should just go home. the nurse said i could after the fluids if i wanted to. the only thing that kept me there was cam, and the fact that the monitor was showing i was still contracting every 3-5 minutes.

eventually, the moms (my mom and the mister's) got to my room just in time to tell me good-bye before i delivered. my dad was parking the car, which again put me in tears because i just wanted to hug him before we went in. so glad the mister held my hand through all my emotions that day! :)

once i went into surgery, i was kind of excited to realize i was in the same operating room that i delivered ryan in. it made everything feel surreal. unfortunately, the dumb nurse accompanied me into surgery, and she was the one who helped me during my spinal. let me tell you, that was waaay more painful than the first time. the spot the dr inserted it, he said i had a bit of scoliosis there so they needed to go around it. ummm ow ow ow!

because that hurt so bad, and because nothing was planned for that day, i was feeling a little overwhelmed laying there as they prepped everything. i thought i heard my dad's voice in the hallway, which made me sad all over again. i could hear my heartbeat on the monitor, and every time i thought of something other than my husband was going to be there soon, i heard it racing. which only made me flustered... and in turn made it race faster!

so i was totally freaked out, when i heard the dr's start my section, and the mister wasn't in the room yet! i mentioned it to the nurse, and she ran off to grab him. he was there in what seemed like seconds later, and he really made me feel so much better. if you haven't had a surgery done while you are awake... there is really no way to describe it besides crazy and a little freaky. the drs and nurses always try and talk quietly, but you can still hear them talking about your insides. WEIRD.

well not far into the surgery, my dr looked over the curtain, and told me no more babies for 2-3 years, and that we got really lucky with reef. my uterus had thinned out to the point of almost rupturing. she explained later, that if i had gone home, it would have ruptured, and after seeing the state it was in, i really should have come in when i was really noticing the contractions were getting closer together... how scary to think there were two times i made decisions that literally most likely saved reef's life as well as my own. if i hadn't gone to the hospital when i did... or if i had let the nurse get to me enough that i left, this story could have ended very differently. so i am incredibly thankful and grateful that in those moments i made the right choices.

when reef was finally out, i literally felt a huge weight just immediately lifted from me. i swear i didn't feel such a relief with ryan, but then again he was almost 2 pounds bigger than her. :) 

i will never forget his little cry, and the immediate love i felt when i saw him for the first time. to be 100% honest, i was worried about that. i have been so in love with ryan this whole time, i just didn't know if it was possible to have room for MORE love. but the switch flipped again, i saw him and fell head over heels for him. 

he's an amazing little baby! he is sooo mellow, and his favorite thing to do is sleep on my chest all cuddled up. being a mom is incredible, and i am forever blessed that after everything we went through to even have children... we are now parents to two beautiful and perfectly perfect babies. 

i have taken a million photos of him ~ check them out on his instagram: reef_clayton


you can also catch up on little ryan's pictures on hers: ryan_sea 

i swear her personality is getting bigger everyday!


hopefully while i am on maternity leave, i can keep up with some blogging at least until real life sets in again!

Monday, October 15, 2012

plus... dos

well it appears it's been a few lot of months since i actually logged into blogger, but lately a little pressure from family & friends has forced me to cave! 

so first things first ~ for those of you who don't already know... my little family is expanding again!

it's crazy how things turn out, a few years ago i was literally in tears with the fear of not knowing if my husband and i would ever be able to have a baby. when you hear the word "infertile", you go down a scary road, and a million things race through your mind.

after countless fertility treatments, and unfortunately two miscarriages, i am sitting here tonight with a beautiful little girl (who is now eight & a half months old!!) one room over, and a tiny little man in my belly.

this pregnancy has been a little rough with LOTS of sickness, lovely acne, and a little bump much earlier than i expected SOO i haven't been quite as "excited" to share my journey with the world. 

but here i am almost, 19 weeks pregnant, and i realized i don't have any letters for baby dos! thankfully i am pretty good at keeping notes on my phone, so expect a few catch up "letters"... minus belly shots. i'll start those next week!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

plus one

guess what... my little blue family has officially grown to include our first little mermaid!

and i know they are a little extremely over due, but i finally finished posting my letters to baby blue. :) i can't believe my pregnancy journey is actually over, but i have the most amazing little girl to show for it!!

today ryan sea turns seven weeks old, which is actually hard to comprehend because it literally seems like just yesterday we were heading to the hospital to bring her in to this world. these past weeks have been the most blissful weeks of my life, even with the new mommy stresses... i wouldn't change a single moment.

i will post my birth story soon, but for now, i will just leave you with a teaser photo i took of my little sea monkey yesterday.
i hope everything is going well in blogland!

baby blue ~ week 39

baby blue ~ week 38